Oct. 15th, 2011

tarklovishki: (Default)

Oh, man. I remember a few months ago when the fandom was absolutely bursting with fics and art ... and now, it's like everyone's packing up shop and leaving. :( I was expecting something like this to happen, to be honest, but wow. I remember when it took ages for me to find something on my flist if I accidentally navigated away from it, but now two clicks and a couple of scrolls down, BAM, I've found it. I don't know, maybe I should join more communities and add more friends, but shit is going down.

... If only my Tumblr wasn't broken ...

Real life has been one major bitch to me, to be honest. I just found out last night that one of my best friends, who'd been coming onto me, calling me beautiful and wanting to kiss me, has been using me for eight freaking months. Eight! Son of a fucking bitch, I'm glad I only kissed him once. No, the bastard is going back to his ex - in the immortal words of my best friend, who the fuck goes back to their ex? Apparently it was a "mutual breakup" and on my friend's Tumblr, I found out that she'd been scowling at him and being a total ass.

If I squint, I can see the end of their relationship nearing.

Okay, so I don't think I quite handled the whole thing well; I blew up at him over the phone, my face full of tears, and then, in a fit of rage (you find that I have quite the nasty temper after a crying session) we both blew up at each other over the Internet. Yeah. Sometimes the Internet is just not a good place to land in times of teenage crisis.

I ended up, after getting angry at him over the phone, going to my friend's house. Keep in mind, it was ten o'clock at night. I'm really grateful that my friend and her mum allowed me to come over - they even paid for the taxi.

To add insult to injury, the taxi guy deliberately went the longest route to my friend's house. On a normal day, the cost of a taxi from my house to Waratah where she lives would be around ten to fifteen dollars. This complete douchebag ran the amount up to twenty-three dollars. Now, he could be a really sweet man, but seriously? Uh, I'm not appreciating the fact that he did that. I was polite to him and told him - through gritted teeth - where he was supposed to be going.

My friend, when I got there, allowed me to get behind her computer and get on the Internet, and this is where the argument took place. I'm notorious for being able to think up insults in half a second, tops. Less than that if I'm vengeful and in a completely bitchy mood. (But he did say that I could talk to him later and throw as many insults as I wanted, so naturally I took hold of this opportunity by the balls the first chance I had it.)

So basically I'm one friend down and ... strangely not upset about it. The bastard blamed me because he used me. I was willing to give him a chance, despite the fact that he told me how many of his friendships were ruined (by him? I do not know - probably heaps). But it's all my fault because I was being nice. See, this is part of the reason why so many people think I'm going to go from being bisexual to a complete lesbian. Don't ask me why, it's just what I've been told. My being nice means that I deserve to be hurt like that? Fuck him! I was nothing but a replacement for his ex-girlfriend, apparently. I'm not the kind of chick that forgives something like that. I was not put on this planet to be used by inconsiderate fucks who think they can get away with everything.

I've had a lot of time to cool off since last night, really. I'm back to being myself, with only one best friend left. It's sad because I remember being quite popular growing up, and then I started becoming an introverted, nerdy bookworm and suddenly I was left with nothing.

Anyway, I better wrap this up before I start ranting my ass off, which I'm close to doing.

Has anything like this ever happened to you?

L
o
v
e
Always,
Tarklovishki.

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Tarklovishki

January 2012

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