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I feel really sad at the moment; I just heard that I'm invited to meet up with people I used to go to primary school with at Sandgate cemetery to visit a classmate's grave who unfortunately was killed in an accident two years ago. I never knew him well, but I'd known him since pre-school. He'd been a familiar face, and to learn that he was dead came as a real sucker punch to the gut.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Sandgate cemetery, but I really want to go and pay my respects to him, and yet at the same time I don't want to go because I'm afraid of seeing his grave and knowing that he's never going to come back. He used to do this trick with his eyelids where he would turn them inside out. He used to do it to freak us all out, and we'd all wonder how he could do that. He'd shrug and say "I don't know. I just can."

He is the first person I knew that has died, and for weeks after I learned what had happened to him, I was in shock. He'd been on life support, and I think it was his father who decided to turn it off, because there was nothing the doctors could do for him. Up until then, I childishly believed that everyone I knew at school was too young to die, and yet he is gone.

Even though I didn't know anything more than his full name, birthday and the eyelid trick, I miss him. My condolences go to his family and friends, who I know all still lament his death. I can't imagine the pain you guys feel.

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I just got Sorted into Slytherin! My family now think I'm weird because I was like "YES! FUCK YES!"


Sep. 27th, 2011 03:53 pm
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My Pottermore name is CatPhoenix168!! Please add me!


I won!

Sep. 24th, 2011 06:16 pm
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After coming home from inner-city Newcastle, I decided to check my email. Lo and behold, I'd gotten a message from Goodreads stating that I'd won the giveaway for "Prophets of the Ghost Ants"! It was the book that I'd wanted to win from the beginning! I won, I won, I won! *Dances* I have to wait 4-6 weeks for shipping, but I can't wait until I get a chance to read it; it sounds really interesting!
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I'm just starting on the first season, and already I am in love. I absolutely love how the characters have been portrayed; the unabashed sex scenes, the drug use and how they deal with the issues that the GLBT community face. Why can't more television shows be brave like this and tell it how it is?

Also, I'm totally in love with Brian and Justin and their relationship. I love that their not really apart of the cliche gay guys, the ones who seem to have caught onto the PMS vibe and gone all emotional. The characters are treated as though they are real people, which they are, and they have real lives and don't take shit off anyone.

I'm so glad that I came across this series, and though I know how it is going to end because I spoiled myself, I can't wait to travel down the road and get to the final episode. I admit to being a little worried about this series, unsure of how it was all going to be played out, but now I can't wait to find the series on DVD and just sit back and watch. I don't think I'd be patient enough to just find a website and watch, because I'm always antsy on the Internet ...

What do you guys think about this series? Have you ever heard of it before? If you haven't, go watch!!
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At home asleep in Australia. Because Australians are ahead in time, I woke up on the twelth, a day after my seventh birthday, to the television playing images of the attack. Being so young, I thought that it was something from a movie until I was told that it was real. Also, before I really understod, I was upset that my favourite kids cartoons weren't on.

I can't believe that I was safe in my bed as at least 3,000 people died. It's surreal.

RIP 9/11 victims. God bless your souls and the souls of the people you left behind. xoxo.
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I would tell my ten year old self, "Don't change a single thing; the road your taking is going to get a whole lot better than what they seem. Just stick at it, kid. Everything will be okay."
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I'm freaking out here; I just signed up for the piratebigbang and ... and I put original story down. I've mentioned that I have anxiety, and that is now through the roof because I am wondering how the hell I'm going to do this. *Sighs* I have not quit on a fest yet, so I better start writing ...
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For some reason, writing stories is becoming increasingly difficult. I am so insecure with my writing; in two days, I've drafted my original story at least three, maybe four, times. I've heard so much advice, gone searching for answers, and all I've got to show for myself is a newfound terror.

I don't like adding lots of detail to my stories; I don't describe the scenery often, I don't delve into the thoughts of most of the characters. I switch point of views between a few characters, I try to make the plot flow ... What do I feel like I'm doing wrong? I don't know.

Do I need someone to read over the chapters once I've finished them? But I don't have many friends that like to read. Sure, a lot of people have offered, but I'm terrified of showing them my work. Crazy, right?

Can someone help me out here, please?
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I am going to apologise now for the use of the word “fuck” and “bitch” one too many times. Those are my favourite swear words to use. Also, this rant is rather biased; please feel free to leave your own thoughts in the comments. Please respect my opinion the way that I shall respect yours. This is a rant that is not structured properly, so things might seem out of whack a lot.


This is what bugs me a lot, because these two families are prominent in the books—more than any other family—and yet J.K Rowling gives us a bias view of who we should believe is the better family. I don’t agree with that. The Weasley family is full of faults, just like the Malfoys, and yet they are still portrayed to be the ideal family.

I do believe that the Weasleys brainwashed Harry to their line of thinking; when Harry met Ron, he was turned off Slytherins because they were the “evil house” essentially. Mrs. Weasley forces her beliefs onto everyone, including Harry and Hermione even though they are not her children to teach. Yeah, Harry has no family, but still … don’t teach lessons to other people’s kids. Slytherins are all bad, eh? So the Malfoy family turning to the light at the last second makes them evil? Helping Harry to stay alive—albeit to save each other, but still—makes them evil?


In fact, the Malfoy family have stuck together throughout the books; when Draco says “My father will hear about this!” I actually hear “I trust my father enough to tell him what’s going on”.
In the sixth book, Narcissa went out of her way to guarantee protection for Draco, despite knowing that Voldemort would slaughter her if he ever found out. She went as far as to make Severus Snape, who is essentially the “family friend,” agree to an Unbreakable Vow for Draco.
She (and Lucius) might have spoilt her son rotten, but you can’t really spoil a child to that degree unless you love them a lot, right? What’s the point of buying your children everything, if you don’t want to see their faces light up with joy? And, yeah, Lucius and Narcissa put their beliefs on Draco—but their beliefs are what nearly all pureblood families (families who are not the Weasley family, because they are just too “perfect) believe. That belief has been passed down from generation to generation, as has arranged marriages. In my own opinion, I think that Lucius and Narcissa treated their son in exactly the same way as they were treated, or at least wanted to be treated.

So, Lucius and Narcissa loved their child.

How does Draco return that love? Goes out of his way to make sure that they don’t get killed, by performing a task next to impossible; fixing the Vanishing Cabinet and defeating the very strong wards of Hogwarts to bring in Death Eaters. Draco is not as smart as Hermione Granger (in my personal head canon, I believe that he is smarter and just not willing to reach his full potential), but you’d have to be pretty damn smart to do that, and very desperate. Draco cared enough about his family to risk his own life to save them.

What’s that, you say? Draco was already in the firing line?

Yeah, he was. But you forget that he almost caved on the Astronomy Tower by thinking of turning to Dumbledore. He had an option right there. Did he take it? No. Why? Because he was worried about his family’s safety. That is love right there, when you think of your family’s safety before what you want.

And what is this shit about Draco not being redeemed? JKR, you have some explaining to do.
Bullies, no matter what form their in (if they aren’t the “Voldemort Bully”) can be redeemed, especially when they are still children. Draco is a bully and a racist, but that can be changed. No one has given a crap about Draco at all besides his own parents, and I reckon that’s because everyone is fawning over perfect, selfless Harry.

God, how I hate Harry in canon! The rich orphan who is loved by everyone and is better than you at everything—just STFU GTFO Harry! You should have died and stayed dead in canon!

The Malfoys redeemed themselves in my opinion. Lucius eventually came around, saw the error of his ways, and he and Narcissa went behind Voldemort’s back to protect their only son. Their motives might have been for their own gain, but I do believe that they also saved the Wizarding world. Draco, too, because he refused to give Harry away at Malfoy Manor and refused to let Crabbe kill Harry in the Room of Requirement. When Harry turns back to save Draco from the Fiendfyre, that was his redemption. Draco was not evil enough to die—he was clutching tightly to Goyle, who was seen as nothing more than Draco’s stupid, hulking henchman, for God’s sake! If Draco was so wound up in self-preservation and evilness as JKR tries and fails to show him as, then he would have left Goyle to die.

There was nothing he could have done about Crabbe.

In canon, the Malfoys started out together and they finished together. Not once did they betray each other, not once did they leave each other to fend for themselves. They certainly have a lot of issues to deal with, mainly the racism of blood and status, but I do believe that they would overcome it together.


Oh, my fucking God.

Arthur Weasley, man up and stand up to your crazy wife! You’re the fucking head of the house, act like it! What, does Molly put out well enough for you to make you forget about her crazy mannerisms? Lucius should have pounded your skull harder with the books in Flourish and Blotts.
This is not what I envision a perfect family to be, and I don’t see how anyone could think of it as that.

The only thing normal about them is that they are a big family that fights, that’s it.
Molly is portrayed in the books as only the kitchen-wife. She cooks for the kids, she cleans for them, and then she does nothing else. Fuck, someone needs a hobby outside the family. Why did she even kill Bellatrix anyway? I bet you it was to make her seem “cool” – and she is cool, in the movies. But in the books, gosh, she’s just one of those characters that are just there to be a motherly figure to Harry.

In Goblet of Fire is when I lost nearly all respect for Molly Weasley; her treatment of Hermione was horrible. She sends chocolate the size of a chicken’s egg to her because she believed what Rita Skeeter wrote, and then turns around and makes a bastard out of Amos Diggory by saying that Rita is a no-good person who fabricates lies to put on the front page. Fuck you, woman! Where was this line of reasoning when Rita wrote all that crap about Harry and Hermione dating? Bitch, sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and learn a little something about irony.

She forces her beliefs down the throats of her children and Harry. Harry’s not even her fucking child, and she’s manipulating him to her way of thinking. Oh, and let’s not forget that werewolf scene in the books in the Order of the Phoenix; “Is he safe enough to be in a public ward?”

Bitch, if he was not safe to be there at that time, he would not have been there.
Arthur, like I mentioned above, needs to grow a pair. He’s just a sissy. He lets Molly run the show—any other time, I would have been great that a woman was controlling the house, but when the woman controlling the house is Molly, the man does need to step in and show a little initiative—and that’s just not right.

The Weasley family accuses everyone else—mainly the Malfoys—of having a wrong opinion of blood purity, right? Scoffing down at people who aren’t like them. Well, what have the Weasleys been doing? They scoff at the Malfoys; they treat Fleur like utter shit because she’s beautiful. That’s not right. How dare they mock someone because they are beautiful? Fleur is a smart woman, I know this because it is there, but JKR bastardises beautiful women in her books; Cho Chang, Fleur Delacour, Marietta Edgecombe to name a few.

The Weasleys, Molly and Ginny especially, treat Fleur like crap. Hermione disliking her is something that I can understand; from book one, she’s been the kind of girl who likes brains more than beauty, but I think she came around quicker than the two Weasley women. Of course, in the sixth book, Bill Weasley (how and why did they even meet and fall in love?) manages to make her a housewife. I guess it is just a part of the Weasley charm.

And Ron, don’t get me started on Ron. He needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut. He thinks being the youngest male son of Molly and Arthur is bad? He should try being the oldest and having to set an example. His worries in book one about not being good enough are completely abolished by the end of book 5, and then it seems as though he’s got everything handed to him on a plate when he doesn’t even deserve it. He’s jealous of Harry for fame that he didn’t even ask for—and Ron knows this and is a complete and utter bastard to Harry.

Ginny is just there for plot development and a love interest. She’s everything that appeals to Harry, minus the creepy stalker “I love you, shove your dick up my vag and I’ll prove it” attitude. She’s the athletic, boyish girl who likes to hang out with boys a lot. In my opinion, Harry’s just one small step away from going gay. He’s attracted to girls who look and act rather like boys, it’s not hard to prove that he could be a closet gay in canon.

Percy. Poor, poor Percy. He’s the one who got shunted from the family and ridiculed by the lot of them because he wanted to go higher than anyone else in his family has ever dared. He had the right idea, just took the wrong steps to get there. He’s one of the best Weasleys in canon. He stands up to his father and tells him what he’s done wrong and what he should have done—he’s more of a man than his father. But because he went out to achieve his dreams, he’s basically been disowned from the family—they might not have actually disowned him, but from the way they treated him, even before he left the family, they might as well have disowned him the first time he told them what he wanted.

In this case, and in a lot of cases in canon, Arthur is willing to let Molly run the whole show. Yet, with Percy, Arthur finally steps in and then he chases his son out of the family. That is not how you treat your flesh and blood. If you loved your son, you wouldn’t change their minds about something that they want. Yeah, Percy thought that Cornelius Fudge had the right idea, and yeah it was wrong, but he was one wizard amongst many who believed Fudge. Can you hate those other wizards for picking and choosing their own beliefs?

Percy went out on his own; he stumbled and fell, made a few mistakes. He is the most human and relatable character in the Weasley family. Fred and George? Yeah, they are right up there with Percy.

I’m not going to go on about Bill and Charlie because they have just had small parts in the books. They are mentioned, shown for a few chapters, and then they are never heard from again. This, I think, is why they are more popular in fanon; there are hardly any personality traits for the fans to follow, and more often than not they can write the characters as if they were their own.

No, this is not the ideal family.

- - -

I was never good at summarising the end of an essay, so I’ll just say this; these families have some serious working to do before they can ever be the ‘ideal’ family. But in adversity, the Malfoys stayed together and protected each other, while the Weasleys only looked after their own when it seemed like their beliefs all matched up.
Leave a comment below and tell me what you think of these two families!
- - -

This is why I think it is good that we have fanfiction; we can interpret what we want and write about it.
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Next time I go out with my best friend, I'm going to make a note to be more careful when I get into play fights with him; he accidentally bashed his jaw into the bridge of my nose and knocked me out. Gave me a concussion in which it was difficult to stay awake. Had to go to the hospital and wear a neck brace for four, maybe five hours.

At least he took a first aid course last year and knew exactly what to do to keep me conscious and safe. <3

I learned my lesson; the nerve damage in my neck and minor concussion have taught me well.
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Does it make me a bad person because I never read through the first chapter because it bored me half to death? I mean, all through the Drarry tag on Tumblr, people have been crying their eyes out over this fic and I was like "Ooh, okay, I'll see what the fuss is about ... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING?" I don't think I ever got bored with a Drarry fic so quickly.

And I hate it how people are going on, and on, and on, and on and on about this story. Maybe that influenced me, maybe it didn't. In the first chapter, I wanted to stab someone for misleading me into thinking I would enjoy this fic. Literally stab. Maybe even shoot.

Am I the only one who feels this way?


Aug. 22nd, 2011 06:42 am
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I have been feeling so under the weather lately that I'm surprised I haven't gone to the hospital yet. I think I'm getting insomnia because I'm always asleep during the day and I haven't been outside the house in over a week. Constant headaches and whatnot are plaguing me! My nan thinks my near-vegetarian diet (I only eat select meat like chicken and lamb) has pushed me off my cycle because I'm not getting enough iron to sustain me.

Funnily enough, it doesn't plague me when I'm writing; it gets me when I'm watching television or an hour out from falling asleep. I have glasses that I'm supposed to wear -- otherwise I'll be going blind later on in life -- but I just can't seem to remember that I need to wear them. They're prescription glasses for reading only. My left eye is so bad that if I close my right one, everything is blurry; when I got my eyes tested, I couldn't read more than one line with my left eye. It's like my right eye is supporting it somehow, which is why it constantly feels heavy and in pain.

I feel like my life is on the brink of change; I can feel it, I'm anticipating it. Everything is changing and it's not like it used to be. I hope it's for the better.

Also, I've made a list of all the places I want to live/visit in my life from 1 to 10.

1 Britain
2 Scotland
3 Ireland
4 Paris
5 Western Australia
6 Darwin
7 New Zealand
8 Iceland
9 Hawaai
10 Germany

As you can see, I'm a bit of a fan of the European countries and whatnot. :D I just love the history behind all these places. I want to travel the world and be a writer and an actor -- I guess you can say I want to live an adventurous life. Funnily enough, I want to have kids -- twin boys -- in my early twenties. I don't know how I'll do that, but I'll manage. :D

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
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Both would be horrifying to me; if I am unable to remember old memories, how could I go on and make new ones? Memories, however embarrassing, however bad they are, should be cherished. To lose them, it's like losing a part of your soul; you are never quite as whole as you once were.

I'd rather never be able to make new ones; at least I have the ability to remember my past. Imagine all the things that I could lose if I lost my old memories. Everything that I loved, everything that made me me, would be gone. My own family would be erased from my mind. How could I cope with that?

No; I would like to remember who I was, not mould myself into a completely new person without realising it. Memories are priceless. I'd never give them up.
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Listening to the Harry Potter soundtrack, and I'm crying because it just brings back so many memories and it's all over. It's been over for a while now, and I still can't get used to it. Listening to Lily's theme and A New Beginning do not help in the slightest.

I think I'm always going to cry listening to the songs.


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