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Over Facebook, my friend was telling everyone about this exchange thing she's doing by going over to Austria for a few months. She said you don't have to be a student to do it, and this got me thinking about doing it for about five or six months, just for a change of scenery to learn new things. Except the most logical one to take would mean I'm overseas for my eighteenth birthday.

This would also be a good excuse to get into some part-time jobs to save up for it, because fuck it's over a thousand dollars. I just really want to get outside Australia for a few months, except I don't know how to ask my Nan if I can go. It scares the crap out of me to leave because I do have a mild case of separation anxiety.

What do you think? Should I do it?
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I'm trying to write a fanfic based on Cinderella, and I just have this notion that it's really, really bad. -.- This one is seriously going to need to be rewritten once I get it finished. Oh, well. It was a spur of the moment decision to write it, just to take my mind off this unimaginable heat that's been cursed down on the whole country.

And I have this pounding headache and back pain that makes me feel like I'm going to break any moment now, which certainly doesn't help. But because I haven't gotten a job since I left school at least six months ago now, I don't have coverage -- I think that was the word my nan used -- so I can't use the Medicare card. The headaches and back pain have been off and on for two weeks now, and it is getting seriously annoying. When I wake up in the morning, an hour later it feels like I hadn't slept at all.

:/ Might as well just keep writing...
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Oh, man. I remember a few months ago when the fandom was absolutely bursting with fics and art ... and now, it's like everyone's packing up shop and leaving. :( I was expecting something like this to happen, to be honest, but wow. I remember when it took ages for me to find something on my flist if I accidentally navigated away from it, but now two clicks and a couple of scrolls down, BAM, I've found it. I don't know, maybe I should join more communities and add more friends, but shit is going down.

... If only my Tumblr wasn't broken ...

Real life has been one major bitch to me, to be honest. I just found out last night that one of my best friends, who'd been coming onto me, calling me beautiful and wanting to kiss me, has been using me for eight freaking months. Eight! Son of a fucking bitch, I'm glad I only kissed him once. No, the bastard is going back to his ex - in the immortal words of my best friend, who the fuck goes back to their ex? Apparently it was a "mutual breakup" and on my friend's Tumblr, I found out that she'd been scowling at him and being a total ass.

If I squint, I can see the end of their relationship nearing.

Okay, so I don't think I quite handled the whole thing well; I blew up at him over the phone, my face full of tears, and then, in a fit of rage (you find that I have quite the nasty temper after a crying session) we both blew up at each other over the Internet. Yeah. Sometimes the Internet is just not a good place to land in times of teenage crisis.

I ended up, after getting angry at him over the phone, going to my friend's house. Keep in mind, it was ten o'clock at night. I'm really grateful that my friend and her mum allowed me to come over - they even paid for the taxi.

To add insult to injury, the taxi guy deliberately went the longest route to my friend's house. On a normal day, the cost of a taxi from my house to Waratah where she lives would be around ten to fifteen dollars. This complete douchebag ran the amount up to twenty-three dollars. Now, he could be a really sweet man, but seriously? Uh, I'm not appreciating the fact that he did that. I was polite to him and told him - through gritted teeth - where he was supposed to be going.

My friend, when I got there, allowed me to get behind her computer and get on the Internet, and this is where the argument took place. I'm notorious for being able to think up insults in half a second, tops. Less than that if I'm vengeful and in a completely bitchy mood. (But he did say that I could talk to him later and throw as many insults as I wanted, so naturally I took hold of this opportunity by the balls the first chance I had it.)

So basically I'm one friend down and ... strangely not upset about it. The bastard blamed me because he used me. I was willing to give him a chance, despite the fact that he told me how many of his friendships were ruined (by him? I do not know - probably heaps). But it's all my fault because I was being nice. See, this is part of the reason why so many people think I'm going to go from being bisexual to a complete lesbian. Don't ask me why, it's just what I've been told. My being nice means that I deserve to be hurt like that? Fuck him! I was nothing but a replacement for his ex-girlfriend, apparently. I'm not the kind of chick that forgives something like that. I was not put on this planet to be used by inconsiderate fucks who think they can get away with everything.

I've had a lot of time to cool off since last night, really. I'm back to being myself, with only one best friend left. It's sad because I remember being quite popular growing up, and then I started becoming an introverted, nerdy bookworm and suddenly I was left with nothing.

Anyway, I better wrap this up before I start ranting my ass off, which I'm close to doing.

Has anything like this ever happened to you?


tarklovishki: (Default)

I feel really sad at the moment; I just heard that I'm invited to meet up with people I used to go to primary school with at Sandgate cemetery to visit a classmate's grave who unfortunately was killed in an accident two years ago. I never knew him well, but I'd known him since pre-school. He'd been a familiar face, and to learn that he was dead came as a real sucker punch to the gut.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Sandgate cemetery, but I really want to go and pay my respects to him, and yet at the same time I don't want to go because I'm afraid of seeing his grave and knowing that he's never going to come back. He used to do this trick with his eyelids where he would turn them inside out. He used to do it to freak us all out, and we'd all wonder how he could do that. He'd shrug and say "I don't know. I just can."

He is the first person I knew that has died, and for weeks after I learned what had happened to him, I was in shock. He'd been on life support, and I think it was his father who decided to turn it off, because there was nothing the doctors could do for him. Up until then, I childishly believed that everyone I knew at school was too young to die, and yet he is gone.

Even though I didn't know anything more than his full name, birthday and the eyelid trick, I miss him. My condolences go to his family and friends, who I know all still lament his death. I can't imagine the pain you guys feel.

I won!

Sep. 24th, 2011 06:16 pm
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After coming home from inner-city Newcastle, I decided to check my email. Lo and behold, I'd gotten a message from Goodreads stating that I'd won the giveaway for "Prophets of the Ghost Ants"! It was the book that I'd wanted to win from the beginning! I won, I won, I won! *Dances* I have to wait 4-6 weeks for shipping, but I can't wait until I get a chance to read it; it sounds really interesting!
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I'm just starting on the first season, and already I am in love. I absolutely love how the characters have been portrayed; the unabashed sex scenes, the drug use and how they deal with the issues that the GLBT community face. Why can't more television shows be brave like this and tell it how it is?

Also, I'm totally in love with Brian and Justin and their relationship. I love that their not really apart of the cliche gay guys, the ones who seem to have caught onto the PMS vibe and gone all emotional. The characters are treated as though they are real people, which they are, and they have real lives and don't take shit off anyone.

I'm so glad that I came across this series, and though I know how it is going to end because I spoiled myself, I can't wait to travel down the road and get to the final episode. I admit to being a little worried about this series, unsure of how it was all going to be played out, but now I can't wait to find the series on DVD and just sit back and watch. I don't think I'd be patient enough to just find a website and watch, because I'm always antsy on the Internet ...

What do you guys think about this series? Have you ever heard of it before? If you haven't, go watch!!
tarklovishki: (Default)
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I would tell my ten year old self, "Don't change a single thing; the road your taking is going to get a whole lot better than what they seem. Just stick at it, kid. Everything will be okay."
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I'm freaking out here; I just signed up for the piratebigbang and ... and I put original story down. I've mentioned that I have anxiety, and that is now through the roof because I am wondering how the hell I'm going to do this. *Sighs* I have not quit on a fest yet, so I better start writing ...
tarklovishki: (Default)
For some reason, writing stories is becoming increasingly difficult. I am so insecure with my writing; in two days, I've drafted my original story at least three, maybe four, times. I've heard so much advice, gone searching for answers, and all I've got to show for myself is a newfound terror.

I don't like adding lots of detail to my stories; I don't describe the scenery often, I don't delve into the thoughts of most of the characters. I switch point of views between a few characters, I try to make the plot flow ... What do I feel like I'm doing wrong? I don't know.

Do I need someone to read over the chapters once I've finished them? But I don't have many friends that like to read. Sure, a lot of people have offered, but I'm terrified of showing them my work. Crazy, right?

Can someone help me out here, please?
tarklovishki: (Default)
Next time I go out with my best friend, I'm going to make a note to be more careful when I get into play fights with him; he accidentally bashed his jaw into the bridge of my nose and knocked me out. Gave me a concussion in which it was difficult to stay awake. Had to go to the hospital and wear a neck brace for four, maybe five hours.

At least he took a first aid course last year and knew exactly what to do to keep me conscious and safe. <3

I learned my lesson; the nerve damage in my neck and minor concussion have taught me well.
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Does it make me a bad person because I never read through the first chapter because it bored me half to death? I mean, all through the Drarry tag on Tumblr, people have been crying their eyes out over this fic and I was like "Ooh, okay, I'll see what the fuss is about ... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING?" I don't think I ever got bored with a Drarry fic so quickly.

And I hate it how people are going on, and on, and on, and on and on about this story. Maybe that influenced me, maybe it didn't. In the first chapter, I wanted to stab someone for misleading me into thinking I would enjoy this fic. Literally stab. Maybe even shoot.

Am I the only one who feels this way?


Aug. 22nd, 2011 06:42 am
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I have been feeling so under the weather lately that I'm surprised I haven't gone to the hospital yet. I think I'm getting insomnia because I'm always asleep during the day and I haven't been outside the house in over a week. Constant headaches and whatnot are plaguing me! My nan thinks my near-vegetarian diet (I only eat select meat like chicken and lamb) has pushed me off my cycle because I'm not getting enough iron to sustain me.

Funnily enough, it doesn't plague me when I'm writing; it gets me when I'm watching television or an hour out from falling asleep. I have glasses that I'm supposed to wear -- otherwise I'll be going blind later on in life -- but I just can't seem to remember that I need to wear them. They're prescription glasses for reading only. My left eye is so bad that if I close my right one, everything is blurry; when I got my eyes tested, I couldn't read more than one line with my left eye. It's like my right eye is supporting it somehow, which is why it constantly feels heavy and in pain.

I feel like my life is on the brink of change; I can feel it, I'm anticipating it. Everything is changing and it's not like it used to be. I hope it's for the better.

Also, I've made a list of all the places I want to live/visit in my life from 1 to 10.

1 Britain
2 Scotland
3 Ireland
4 Paris
5 Western Australia
6 Darwin
7 New Zealand
8 Iceland
9 Hawaai
10 Germany

As you can see, I'm a bit of a fan of the European countries and whatnot. :D I just love the history behind all these places. I want to travel the world and be a writer and an actor -- I guess you can say I want to live an adventurous life. Funnily enough, I want to have kids -- twin boys -- in my early twenties. I don't know how I'll do that, but I'll manage. :D

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
tarklovishki: (Default)
Listening to the Harry Potter soundtrack, and I'm crying because it just brings back so many memories and it's all over. It's been over for a while now, and I still can't get used to it. Listening to Lily's theme and A New Beginning do not help in the slightest.

I think I'm always going to cry listening to the songs.
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Thanks to those people who put up those plot/character generators! I've now got enough fuel to last me for, like, ten years! Woo! I shall get started on a few of them after I go shopping tomorrow. I've been looking for something to help me get a few ideas, and then the moment I stop looking, you lovely people show up with links that give me thousands of ideas, awesome!

I may even use some of them for original works. Though I'm a lover of fantasy, so I few of them are going to be a bit hard to incorporate. I'll manage!

Just thought I'd thank you lovely people even though you might not see the post. Just because I'm tired and you're awesome.

Do you know how much I love you?
tarklovishki: (Default)
I'm going to venture off into other pairings. Not that I'm leaving Drarry -- fuck, no. Drarry is awesome -- but Tumblr has shown me a lot of Dramione and I'm wondering what the fuck is so good about that. I haven't shipped a hetero couple for, like, a year now. Certainly not in this fandom.

Should I see what's up, or should I leave well enough alone?

Unlike with Drarry, I do not see much of anything in the books or the movies that would bring love to Dramione, unless some of the shippers get off on Hermione punching Draco in the face. Is Dramione similar to Drarry; the whole opposites attract, love/hate dynamic? 
tarklovishki: (Default)

Not too long ago, a friend of mine said, in answer to my stressing over not getting into Pottermore, "Why don't you just wait until October like I'm doing? It's not that big of a deal."

We've always said we'd never work as a couple and that FUCKING PROVES IT! >:O I don't want to wait. I'm reading the pottermore tag page on Tumblr, and I'm getting pissed off at how many people GOT IN, and you want me to WAIT?! Do you not know how much of a fan I am, you stupid boy?!

-.- Exactly. I swear at my best friends when it comes to Harry Potter. He knows better than to refute me. Last time he tried, he barely escaped a jab to the jaw. If ever we got into a relationship - which is unlikely - I'd be BOSS and he'd be ... well. When I get into a rage, which is often, he knows better than to put his two cents in. He'd be whipped in the first minute.

Then he mocked me for my Tom Felton love. He laughed loudly when Tom's character got *SPOILER!* killed in the Rise of the Planet of the Apes. *END SPOILER*

See the reason why we'd never work out? He's also horrified that I've never seen The Matrix, Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. Dude! I'm getting there! Don't rush a girl ...


Aug. 16th, 2011 04:12 pm
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Just decided to organise my tags. Now anyone who wants to find a story of mine, searching the tags page will be easier. I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to organising things for my pages on websites. :D I'm proud of myself - hence the reason I decided to tell you all about it. Heh.
tarklovishki: (Default)

Your result for The Sorting Hat: A Comprehensive Harry Potter Personality Assessment [Test/Quiz]...


48% Ravenclaw, 38% Hufflepuff, 58% Slytherin and 55% Gryffindor!

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folks use any means

To achieve their ends.



Slytherin's cardinal traits are ambition, cunning and determination. Like the Gryffindor House, Slytherins are emotionally volatile. In contrast, however, Slytherins are much less dominant and assertive, and less extraverted in general. Rather than expressing these emotions outwardly, Slytherins direct them inward or act in a passive aggressive manner. Both Gryffindor and Slytherin are much more driven to succeed than the other two houses: Gryffindor out of pride and Slytherin out of ambition.


Slytherins are also much more pragmatic than the other houses and more adept at manipulating people. A key trait would be a low level of agreeableness: Slytherins are more pessimistic, more distrustful than most, and more likely to attribute negative motivations to people. So although Slytherins experience a wide range of emotions, due to their distrustful views of people and skeptical worldview, they are less expressive and more likely to appear cold or distant unless provoked.

A Slytherin's ambitious nature comes out in different ways depending on what is important to the individual person. It could lead them to try to achieve top marks (if intellect and schooling is important to them) but it could also be directed at social settings or towards athletic endeavors.

Take The Sorting Hat: A Comprehensive Harry Potter Personality Assessment [Test/Quiz] at HelloQuizzy

I am amazed at how close I came to being a Gryffindor. I thought Ravenclaw would be closer. Just shows you how much of a mixed bag I am. I can't believe how much of a Hufflepuff I am. :O

tarklovishki: (Default)
Merlin, season three. I never saw it only television because I rarely watch television anymore. It's out on DVD, and I have said  before that the writers of Merlin are lazy and can't do crap when it comes to character development and whatnot. The only thing I've seen of season three is the clips that get put up on Youtube.

Is this season any better? I mean, Arthur is the same pompous ass we met in the first season, not counting the moments of heroicism that get put into some of the episodes at random moments just so we don't forget who the fuck he is. Merlin's magic has not been made known to Arthur--yeah, I read the spoilers--and now I'm wondering if I should even bother with this show.

Other family shows have character development, but this one just seems stagnant. Like the writers don't even care. It's like they learn absolutely nothing. We're dealing with what could be a part of our history! Despite the fact that we don't know whether Arthur or Merlin actually existed back in the time (I think their names were Myriddin Emrys and Artor Pendragon before we got out of Middle English and into Slang English and decided to change their names to keep up with the times or something)--yeah, despite that, you need to treat the characters with respect. If you make a show about the life of Jesus, hell yeah you're going to show respect to it. So why not Merlin and Arthur? They are an important part of English history--don't forget that Australians descended from English prisoners, mate.  No wonder where my birth mother got it from.

So, Merlin; to watch or not to watch?€
tarklovishki: (Default)

That's it. I quit writing this week. I've done nothing but write and read, and I've got a massive fucking headache. After Netball today I'm going to sleep for a week. I'll probably disregard this post by tomorrow and start writing again as I usually do, but it feels so invigorating to say it--as though I've got a plan or some shit.

Waratah better watch out; I scared the hell out of them the last time that I played them; verbally abused the umpire for making the wrong calls (I'm six feet tall and I stand the correct distance of three feet when I put my arms up--its not my fault they are long!) and I scared the shooters and got banned for a week. I wasn't even trying to scare them, but whatever works.

On another note, I've got a nice warm bed to get to, I suggest to myself that I should just stop this post of absolute nothingness and climb into it before it's too late. We've got a 50-50 chance of getting into the semi's, and I'm pretty sure my team won't appreciate me fainting on the court. I've already forgotten to eat before the game twice already and nearly fainted. Pulling an all-nighter on the night before is stupid, yeah, but I can't help it.

If anyone is wondering, I'm a goal keeper. Can't shoot for shit.


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